On Mother's Day as a new Mother:Chi-San Wan
As my first Mother's Day approaches, Marloe will be 6 months young and I am already reminiscing over my days of pregnancy and the first few months of her life. Believe it or not, I miss being pregnant. This time should be cherished, and I wonder if I did so enough.
There’s an article I came across in the days before Marloe was born, describing the last days of pregnancy as ‘a place of in between’, using the German word ‘Zwischen’. Growing increasingly impatient (and swollen), I took peace in this word, repeating it to myself in moments of weakness and uncertainty.
The last days of pregnancy are special. Time is almost suspended. A woman is walking on a fine line of vulnerability and openness to the unknown. It’s a moment of wonder. No one can prepare you for this time - not any of the books, the midwives, the doula, your friends or family. It is yours to own.
Soon after this moment of stillness and reflection, Marloe Wylder arrived earth-side at home. The journey was quick, both raw and gentle at times, wild, and completely out of this world.
In the days that followed, and most days now, I have to remind myself that I needn’t question whether or not I did things the way I should, or for the best. Just being is enough. We’re constantly in a place of in between - we should stop, breathe and just be.